


One Law

by Shun_Takei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Consolation, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Ups and downs of a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 14:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shun_Takei/pseuds/Shun_Takei
Summary: All Relationships Have One Law: Never Make The One You Love Feel Alone, Especially When You're There.- anonymousThey both changed during those one year and a bit. It made it possible for them to become a functioning pair, supporting each other and getting a healthy rhythm in their daily life.That was, however, until Akaashi was in his last semester and the deadline for his graduation thesis drew closer and closer.





	

Akaashi had been in love with him for longer that Bokuto’s been aware of. It was Konoha who told him one day when they were going out in the evening for a drink or two after the alcohol had already encouraged them to spill secrets that have been kept hidden from curious listeners up until that day.

He could barely imagine that the young man he’s been dating for several months now had been looking at him with adoration and affection in his eyes since their time back in high school when they were playing volleyball together.

Although, back then he barely ever thought about love. Day in day out, all he could think of was his sport. Yes, he was a nerd. Yes, he sometimes wondered if it was worth it. But then again, he doesn’t regret it at all. He was the happiest when he was on court. When he could spike a good pass. Or two. Or maybe ten...

He felt strong. Invincible even. At least most of the time. A feeling he could hardly describe.

It was not like he never thought about love or that he wasn’t interested in having a relationship. Everyone around his age was daydreaming of that mysterious feeling called love. Having someone to hold close at night. Having someone you do all the things with that you don’t do with just anyone. That special someone...

There can’t be anything making him feel like how volleyball makes him feel, Bokuto was sure of it. And it can’t be any good if that special someone was taking away time he could use for volleyball. So yes, that’s basically how Bokuto never experienced his high school love.

 

 

Bokuto asked Akaashi out during his last year of university.

He had become friends with some people from his year, but he didn’t feel the same connection to them as he did with his high school volleyball team. It’s only logical since they don’t know him well and he doesn’t know them. He’s aware of it but it doesn’t help him feeling lonely every here and then, especially when he’s sitting on the bench, watching his teammates play on the court that he’s not yet allowed to play on as a regular.

Volleyball was still his number one. But he missed his sisters, who he showered in love and affection when he came home after his high school volleyball practice in the evening. He enjoyed making them feel special, embrace them in warm hugs and cuddle with them until it’s late and they had to go to bed.

Bokuto wondered if that kind of affection for a lover is any like the one he feelt towards his family.

With time Bokuto slowly started to learn about what people meant when they were talking about love and lovers. Back in high school it was all about sex, their desire based on the information they got from those specific magazines. But in university, the friends he made, some of them in a serious relationship, talked differently about love and he started getting fond the idea.

 

 

 

***

 

 

He asked Akaashi out, more on accident but it worked out for them.

It was after he had managed to complete the puzzle that is Akaashi and the result was that Akaashi must feel special towards him.

Despite he was going to a different, rather far away university, together with Kuroo, Akaashi visited him as often as possible when he had a match. Bokuto got embarrassed, especially in the beginning, when all he did was warming up the bench, hardly ever getting on court at all. But Akaashi kept digging him via LINE until Bokuto told him where and when they had a match.

It was very unlike him, Bokuto noticed when Akaashi did it the first few times, but he didn’t dwell on it. Instead he took it as praise and once he became a regular he literally threw the information Akaashi used to have to fight for at his face.

It took him two years of university to realize that the way Akaashi praised or comforted him was different from the others. The accidental touches with fingers lingering on him for a second too long, Akaashi’s very soft and affectionate glances every so often and how the way he keeps on giving Bokuto one snarky comment after another was something he only did to him – in that intensity at least.

So, he solved that puzzle only to call Kuroo on the very same day, blurting out unintelligent babbling until he could think clearly again. “Is it possible... Do you think it’s likely that...” Bokuto spluttered out. “Likely that he... Actually?? ... likes.... me???” And the only reply he got to that was Kuroo snorting at the other end of the line before he broke out in loud laughter.  
“Took you long enough, genius!!”

As offended as he was in that moment, he seemed to have been right about his assumption at least. “That’s no matter to laugh about...” Bokuto pouted.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“You did great, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi greeted him after Bokuto had changed his clothes and left the gym where he had won a match together with his university team.

Before the match had started Akaashi offered to take him out for dinner later. Simply saying that he felt like going to that restaurant Konoha recommended him the other day and since they meet after the match anyway they could also go together.

It was late afternoon; the colours of the city were painted with orange and yellow tones as the sun was setting. There were still many people in front of the gym, a mixture of visitors, players and employees. To avoid the mass of people the two of them turned into a small side street that leaded to their destination.

Bokuto was too distracted by the voices of the other people, some of them talking about him, some others about his whole team. It felt great hearing the praise from players from the opposite team despite their loss. It took him a while until Akaashi’s praise reached his mind.

“Of course, I did!!” Bokuto shouted out after they left the front area, facing Akaashi confident and happy. A bright grin reached from ear to ear. “But have you seen that ONE spike?!!”, he continued. “The one that was like WHAAAAMM right next to that libero’s hand and HE COULDN’T SAVE IT – it was so amazing.” He gesticulated wildly to explain the movement and his feelings. “And the blocker’s faces?? HAVE YOU?? They looked so SILLY!!!”

A loud sigh, showing just how satisfied he was with that match, left his throat, as he directed his glance into the sky. Akaashi smiled slightly and nodded. “I saw, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto kept on talking about the match, about how awesome he was and that he feels like the happiest person on earth. No. The whole universe! There surely isn’t anything as good as volleyball. No chance, never ever. And Akaashi just nodded silently.

 

 

“I wonder...” Bokuto started halfway into his dinner, looking at the piece of meat between his chopsticks. Akaashi didn’t react to him but took another bit of his rice from its bowl to stuff it inside his mouth.

Konoha was right, that restaurant was great. It offered a nice relaxing atmosphere and they served Chinese meals as menus with a great amount of food. Akaashi appreciated it, Bokuto could see it clearly as he kept eating happily.

What volleyball was to him was probably food to Akaashi, he thought. The best thing on this planet.

The best...? No, Bokuto now knew this wasn’t true. According to what he realized the other day it was different. Akaashi was in love, so naturally...

“Say, Akaashi, can this be considered a date...?”

Akaashi looked up, one eyebrow raised in question at where that came from, but he didn’t say anything – his mouth busy with that piece of meat he just took from his chopsticks.

“No, I mean... since you like me, you know??”

He swallowed.

“Well...” He took another bit of rice from the rice bowl, “... it could, I suppose.” and ate it.

Bokuto remained silent after that reply, his eyes fixated on his food. He felt like jumping up and nervously spluttering some words that hardly made any sense at all. And he wanted to jump back in time for a minute or two and make himself not say those words.

What did he think he was doing? Wasn’t it a secret that Akaashi liked him? Wouldn’t he otherwise have said anything? Like, confessed?? But then again, Kuroo seemed to have known about Akaashi’s feelings for him, so... was it no secret after all?

But did he actually fuck up then?

It’s not like Akaashi looked as he was in shock about Bokuto finding out about his feelings, right?

Bokuto risked a look at Akaashi’s face, who was still eating like nothing happened.

Looking up he met Bokuto’s eyes, keeping eye contact until Bokuto broke away and stared at his food again.

“Do you mind?”

He looked back up. “... huh?”

“If it was a date.” Akaashi specified.

Bokuto blinked twice. Then opened his mouth to say something, closed it again and shook his head.

“Nah, it’s cool.”

...

So, it was cool - not really an intelligent reply to that. Akaashi basically confirmed that he liked him and that’s all he had to say?

But at this moment his mind wasn’t being helpful at all. There were too many questions floating around that he wanted a reply to but didn’t want to ask.

Do you really like me?

Since when?

What did make you love me?

Wait... love...

Is it that kind of love?

Do you want to have sex with me...?

“Bokuto-san, please eat your food before it’s getting cold.” A loud gasp escaped Bokuto’s lips as he was brought back into reality. He can’t believe he was just thinking about Akaashi wanting to have sex with him, his ears felt hot and he prayed for his blush to not be visible.

They continue eating, mostly in silence. Silence that was disturbed by a tone signalling that Bokuto got a new message. He checked it only to find a picture of an ugly looking owl with the quote “THAT YOU?? :’’’’’D” underneath.

Overdramatic as he was Bokuto burst out into a wave of complaining about why he even was friends with Kuroo, why did he always make fun of him. Look at that picture, Akaashi, that’s such an ugly owl and it totally doesn’t look like him AT ALL. If he was to compare himself to an owl it had to be a majestic one. You know, those big ones with their sharp eyes and all that!

The atmosphere relaxed and everything was as it was before Bokuto was silly enough to let it slip that he figured out Akaashi liked him.

 

 

Walking towards the train station after they had paid their dinner in the dark night sky, Bokuto was still talking about Kuroo. About the things they did when they last met for a small trip on the weekends. It’s not the first time that Bokuto was talking about that trip, and Akaashi has heard the story from Kuroo’s perspective before, too. But he didn’t seem to mind at all.

They reached the train station and their ways were about to part. Bokuto was already about to storm off to get his train, waving excitedly at Akaashi as a goodbye when Akaashi gapped the hem of Bokuto’s jacket to make him still in his movement.

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke. Bokuto got nervous, not knowing what was about to happen.

“If this, however, was a date...”, he started looking Bokuto directly into his eyes. “... then you wouldn’t run off like that, Bokuto-san.” A confused “Huh??” was all that Bokuto replied.

A second later he screamed out and threw his arms around Akaashi in a hug, who made a surprised sound. “OH RIGHT!” He tightened his embrace. “I gotta go. See you, Akaashi!!” He held him for a moment longer before he slowly let go.

Akaashi’s ears were coloured in a shade of red, a nervous smile lingering on his lips. “Alright... take care, Bokuto-san.” He bowed very slightly and left through the ticket gate towards his platform.

Bokuto smiled broadly.

This was nice, he thought. This definitely was nice, whatever it was.

 

 

 

***

 

 

They moved in together after Bokuto graduated and found a job in a school close to Akaashi’s university. They’ve been dating for about a year and some months and if you asked Bokuto how his life was like he’d reply that he couldn’t be any happier.

Love was something very important to him. It was, indeed, different from how he loved his parents or how he showed affection to his sisters. It was so much more than that. Especially because Akaashi was making him feel special.

They both had busy schedules but they paid attention so that they wouldn’t neglect each other. Finding some free time just to enjoy another, calm down from the stress that university or Bokuto’s training have caused them.

They both changed during those one year and a bit. It made it possible for them to become a functioning pair, supporting each other and getting a healthy rhythm in their daily life.

That was, however, until Akaashi was in his last semester and the deadline for his graduation thesis drew closer and closer. It happened more often that Akaashi was skipping their private time to go over to Konoha’s to write his thesis there. It was easier for him to concentrate, he said. Because Konoha was busy studying for his medical exams himself and Bokuto kept on distracting him if he worked at home.

Bokuto understood that. He knew he could be a nuisance, but he didn’t like Akaashi breaking their promise to treasure their private time. He wouldn’t even mind it if Akaashi cancelled it every here and then, knowing the graduation thesis was very important for him – but it had become a regular thing now.

When was the last time Bokuto had hugged Akaashi, laid with him on their couch and watched a documentary about some wild animals that Bokuto love so much? He can’t even remember the last time they shared a kiss that lasted longer than half a second.

“I’m going to Konoha-san’s. Don’t wait for me with dinner, I’ll eat over there.” Akaashi said, already standing on the door, putting on his shoes, his laptop bag hanging heavily from his shoulders, another bag with books at his feet.

“Again...?” Bokuto whined a little.

“Yes, again.”

“Can I at least get a hug and a goodbye kiss...?”

Akaashi sighed. “Koutarou-san...” A hint of annoyance clear in his voice, but he let himself be embraced by Bokuto nevertheless.

“I love you, Keiji.”

Akaashi murmured something into Bokuto’s shoulder, let go of him and left, leaving Bokuto alone and sad at home.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“You didn’t call to tell me Akaashi’s betraying you with Konoha, did you?” Kuroo’s voice sounded anything but pleased.

“NO!!! He doesn’t!!”, Bokuto shouted in defence. “Or at least I can’t imagine that he does, but isn’t it the very exact situation when in dramas there’s the one guy who keeps being left alone at home starts thinking that their partner might just... do...”

Bokuto stopped there. No, he really didn’t believe that Akaashi was betraying him. He wasn’t just pretending to not believe, he truly didn’t believe it. But he needed to vent and the only one he could vent to was Kuroo. He’s been his best friend since ages and he was the only one he could show his darkest sides.

“I’m lonely.” Bokuto admitted then, his voice getting thinner. “I can’t believe how distant Akaashi has become. We’re in love, you know??” He pouted.

“At least I think we are. ... I am.”

“There’s no chance Akaashi stopped loving you.”, Kuroo interrupted, the sounds of typing that were audible until that moment paused. “He’s been following you like a love-struck puppy since he joined the volleyball club in Fukurodani. He wouldn’t give you up just like that.”

Bokuto made a whining sound, threw himself defeatedly on the couch and sighed loudly. “I want to hold him...”

“I miss him so much...”

 

 

 

***

 

 

“Welcome home.”, Bokuto whispered when he heard Akaashi entering their bedroom silently, way after midnight without turning on the light.

“Why are you not sleeping yet, Koutarou-san. You have to leave early today!” Akaashi seemed to be unhappy with the situation, his voice was harsh. Exhaustion and tiredness written all over him.

“I know... but I wanted to see you.”

Akaashi sighed. One hand coming up to his face to massage his forehead. “It’s no use if you’re not taking care of yourself.”, he responded flatly.

“I miss you, Keiji!” An obvious whine. Bokuto couldn’t and didn’t want to hide how he felt anymore. He was lonely and despite thinking that Akaashi should know, it seemed like he either didn’t realize or didn’t care.

“I’m right here! Just go to sleep.”, Akaashi insisted annoyed.

He turned his back to Bokuto, starting to undress. Clothes were falling on the floor and staying there, neglected. Bokuto sat up in bed, stemmed his body on his elbows as he started talking again, his voice was no whisper anymore.

“You keep on skipping our special time, Keiji! You’re NOT here, you’re never here!”, he protested. “It’s like you’re running away from me!”

Akaashi turned around quickly. “Running away?!”, he spitted out, his brows furrowed in anger. “I’m running away? Excuse me, but I might be a little bit busy with my thesis and you’re telling me I’m running away?”

“Keiji, no... I...”

“So, are you implying that I should sacrifice my future only to spoil my cute little boyfriend who is lucky enough to have a job, earns his own money and has a supportive family behind his back?!”

“... I... didn’t mean to...”

“So, what is it that you want me to do?” Akaashi crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring expectantly at Bokuto. “You are aware that if you want to keep me away from writing my thesis in peace you also want me to fail it, aren’t you?”

Bokuto jumped out of bed, eagerly shaking his head while he walked towards his lover and grabbed his shoulders once he was in reach. “I don’t want you to fail anything! I just don’t want you to keep on distancing yourself from me!”

“I am not.”

“You are! No matter how busy you are, you could at least show me a tiny bit of attention? If it’s just a kiss?” Bokuto offered, feeling like he didn’t get through to Akaashi at all.

Akaashi chuckled. “You’re an attention whore, you should work on that side of yours.”

“KEIJI!”

“I get it, you want me to fuck you, isn’t that it?” He pushed Bokuto’s arms from his shoulders, moved closer to him, who kept stepping back until he felt the bed in his calves. “Keiji, no, I don’t...”

“It’s okay, I’m going to fuck you and then we can get over this.” He pushed at Bokuto’s shoulders until he sat down on the bed, Akaashi following him, placing one knee on each side of his hips.

“I don’t want this...!” Bokuto tried shoving Akaashi to the side, but he avoided his arms. “Oh, say what, suddenly you don’t want the attention? You’re a liar, Koutarou-san.”

A second later Bokuto felt Akaashi’s lips on his. Rough. Not a hint of affection noticeable.

The kiss was unpleasant to Bokuto. No matter how much he wished to kiss Akaashi, he didn’t want it like that.

There were no soft touches, Akaashi’s hands were rough as they held his wrists pinned on the mattress.

He tried shoving Akaashi away again, this time successfully. They broke the kiss.

Akaashi’s eyes were narrowed when they looked at him, glistering with anger. Bokuto didn’t know why he looked at him like that. He was simply trying to solve a problem that had been bothering him for a while. He only wanted to make Akaashi understand and find a solution but instead Akaashi got mad at him without giving him a chance to explain himself.

It wasn’t like them at all. They could speak openly about their problems and work together to find a solution.

Why did it seem like it was impossible now?

“I don’t get you.”, Akaashi muttered in a growl and crawled out of bed again to move towards the living room. Bokuto was grateful for that decision, he couldn’t stand having to spend the night next to Akaashi when he was being so cold to him.

Bokuto didn’t reply to what Akaashi said. He noticed how he himself felt anger boiling inside of him, but he didn’t want to let it out on Akaashi. He stared at the wall on the other side of the bed, away from the man he loved, wondering what he was up to now. Akaashi’s words repeating in his head again and again.

“It’s because you don’t even try to listen!”, he murmured, not expecting Akaashi to hear or reply to him.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“You’re going to Konoha again?”, Bokuto asked when he saw Akaashi packing his laptop and some of the books he borrowed from the library in a bag. It was early morning, Bokuto had just gotten up from a way too short night for his likes to make a quick breakfast before he had to leave for work.

“Have you eaten already?”, he asked while passing through the living room on his way to the kitchen, a loud yawn followed right afterwards.

Akaashi looked in his direction, confusion clearly visible in his features. Did he expect Bokuto to ignore him after having had an argument the night before? Bokuto wasn’t the type to hold grudges long (expect when they are connected to certain things or involve Kuroo in any way), so he acted like he always did – preparing breakfast and asking his boyfriend if he wanted to eat with him.

Akaashi in contrary can hold grudges for quite a while. He is also the type of person to distance himself from someone when he believes he did them wrong. And both emotions were the strongest during the mornings, when Akaashi was still grumpy from having to get up.

Bokuto wondered which it was this time, but either way Akaashi didn’t seem like he wanted to join him for breakfast.

“I’m off...” He barely heard Akaashi’s voice from the corridor. The sound of unlocking the door and opening it followed. “Alright!”, Bokuto confirmed. “Make sure you stay hydrated, eat plenty and good luck on your thesis!”, he shouted from the kitchen while he was putting some toast in the toaster.

The door closed.

Bokuto sighed loudly.

How did they end up like this?

 

 

 

***

 

 

“... Kou... tarou-san...?” A sleepy voice answered Bokuto’s sixteenth attempt of calling Akaashi at 7am. “Keiji!”, he shouted out, worry falling from his shoulders, giving him back the ability to breath.

“Keiji, are you okay? It’s seven in the morning and you still haven’t come home. You didn’t answer my calls or reply to my texts either, I was so worried!! Where are you??”

Akaashi didn’t reply at first, he moved around, the rustle of what could have been bedsheets were audible. “I was sleeping...”, he explained then, his voice rough. “...at Konoha’s. No need to worry.”

Bokuto couldn’t believe what he said. “Why didn’t you call me? Or shoot me a message??” Akaashi should have known that Bokuto was that type of person who worried himself sick.

“I didn’t plan to stay.”

“But...!”

“Koutarou-san, can you please just go to bed? It’s late and we both could take some sleep.” More rustling. “I’m hanging up now, good night...”

“Keiji, wait!” Bokuto shouted in his mobile phone. “Can you promise me to let me know in advance next time??” His voice sounding like a plea now.

He couldn’t believe Akaashi sounded like he didn’t care at all that his boyfriend was up the whole night, running up and down their flat, trying to call him every other minute after it has gotten long after Akaashi’s usual time to return. That he was having a call with Kuroo at the same time, who was trying his best to calm down the panicking Bokuto although he would rather peacefully sleep himself.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever...”, was Akaashi’s reply before he hung up, voice gotten lost in a tired yawn.

“FUCK!”

Upset he threw his mobile on the bed he was standing in front of, in his eyes tears caused by relief but also anger started to overflow. He stood there for a moment, letting the tears run down his cheeks, wondering why he was the one in the wrong again.

The ringing of his phone brought him back to reality, a picture of him and Kuroo on the display told him it was his best friend who was calling him.

He picked up.

“Kou, are you okay??” Kuroo sounded as worried as he imagined him sounding when Akaashi finally picked up his call.

“I’m... not fine at all...” His voice was breaking and barely audible at the other end of the call.

“Where’s Akaashi? What happened?! Should I come over?” Kuroo was familiar to that state of Bokuto and he knew he didn’t even have to ask. Bokuto needed him right now. Even more since Akaashi was nowhere around and probable the cause of it all.

“He’s with Konoha... sleeping peacefully like... FUCK!!”

Bokuto was sobbing now.

“I’m coming over, I’ll be there in a few!”

 

 

Bokuto was waiting for him in front of his flat’s door. The moment he saw his wild black hair sticking out from under his beanie Bokuto ran the few steps towards the stairs where he saw him approaching. Kuroo caught him in his arms.

“I don’t understand...!” He buried his face in Kuroo’s jacket, his body shaking with each sob. “I don’t understand why it’s always me who’s wrong!”

“Who says you are?”

“Whatever I do, Keiji acts like I’m overreacting...”, he explained. Feeling all that anger and lack of understanding going wild in him he curled his fists into the material of Kuroo’s jacket. “When he FINALLY answered my call all he had to say was that I should go to bed.” He looked up to meet Kuroo’s eyes. “I was worried?? I was afraid some asshole might have kidnapped him on his way home and did GOD KNOWS with him! And he?? He just tells me to sleep, what the fuck???” He paused, a hiccupping sound leaving his lips as he rubbed away the tears from his face. It was no use, they kept coming and his sobbing became stronger.

“He didn’t even care to apologize... or promise me to message me next time he spontaneously decides to stay over at someone’s place.” Bokuto’s voice resembled growl now.

Not wanting to annoy the neighbours Kuroo brought Bokuto and himself inside the flat, turned on the light and made his friend sit down on the couch. “I’m going to make you some warm milk.”, he said with a soft voice, rubbing Bokuto’s back soothingly. “And then I’m all yours.”

It didn’t take Kuroo long to find the milk in the refrigerator, pour some into two cups and heat them up in the microwave. Hot milk always calmed Bokuto down a little, he just needed to make him drink.

He returned to the living room a moment later where Bokuto had lied down on the couch on his side, curled up into a ball. Kuroo set the cups down on the table in front of Bokuto and made himself space right next to his best friend at the end of his feet.

“You’re not being the one doing things wrong, Kou.”, Kuroo assured him. “You’re a caring and supportive boyfriend. You’re actually stupid enough to think less of yourself while thinking too high of your partner.”

“I’m not thinking too high of Keiji!”, Bokuto protested, looking up from behind the cushion he pressed in his face to stifle the sound of his sobbing, being embarrassed by how vulnerable it sounded.

“You are, but that’s not the point here.”, Kuroo countered. “The point is that you are always thinking about how to make Akaashi the happiest, you’re considerate and you’re often ignoring your own needs in favour of what Akaashi wants.”, he explained.

“Akaashi, in contrary, is quite egoistic.”, Kuroo continued, but was interrupted by Bokuto with a slight kick from his feet.

“Don’t you dare say anything bad about Keiji! I’m mad at him, but I still love him...”, he hissed.

“I’m not saying anything bad about him, I’m saying the truth. And you know that very well.”, Kuroo defended himself, raised his hands in a way to show his innocence. “He’s not a bad person and he would never deliberately hurt you. He just... might be off track because of his thesis.”

Bokuto murmured.

“You know how his mother is like. He’s not yet able to shake off his old habits. He used to live like that for most of his life after all.”

Bokuto did know it. He knew that Akaashi, who grew up with a very distant mother who was at work for most of the day and often during the night as well, was not used to living together with a person who cared as deeply as Bokuto did.

Akaashi got used to most of the changes that came with moving together with Bokuto. But he was not yet used to meet the expectations from his teachers and in some way also those from his mother whose way of putting pressure on her son was manifested in his mind. That combined with stress caused by his workload and a love seeking boyfriend seemed to be all too much for him.

“I guess he went to Konoha that often to get rid of one factor he currently couldn’t handle but saw the smallest risk of losing.”, Kuroo continued his explanation. “I’m sure he’s back to normal once he’s done with that thesis.”

“So, I’m easiest to get rid of...” Bokuto frowned.

“No, you’re the exact opposite of that. You will cling to Akaashi even though he’s neglecting you. However, that doesn’t mean it’s okay of him to do.”

There was a moment of silence, only the soft sobs of Bokuto and the steady buzzing from the refrigerator were audible.

Bokuto was thinking about what Kuroo said. It seemed plausible, but it didn’t stop the pain from hurting his heart. Was he that much of a burden to Akaashi that he needed to actively break away from him?

It hurt.

But Kuroo’s hand on his back that was drawing circles on his back made it a little easier to deal with. He was not alone. Kuroo was warm.

“Here, drink this.” Bokuto opened his eyes that he can’t recall closing and saw his favourite owl mug in front of his face. “It’s hot milk, it will be good for you.”, Kuroo explained after Bokuto made no attempt on getting up and taking the mug.

“I don’t wanna...” His words were slurred.

“Please, just this cup. And then we go to bed.”, his friend insisted and this time Bokuto made a move.

“Will you come with me...?”, he asked weakly as he took the cup, hesitantly nipping on it.

“If you want me to?”, Kuroo replied and Bokuto nodded before he drank the whole mug of milk at once.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“What is that supposed to mean?!”

A loud voice dragged Bokuto away from a happy scene in which he and Akaashi were lying on a blanket in the middle of a park on a sunny afternoon. Birds were singing joyfully, the sun was warming his body, Akaashi’s smile his soul...

“I can’t stand other guys sleeping in my bed!”, the shouting continued, followed by a grunt from behind himself.

“Well, I’m not a fan of sleeping next to this dude either, but someone here thought it was necessary to hurt his boyfriend so much he wouldn’t stop crying the whole night and needed someone by his side – and, for sure, it wasn’t me.” Rustling next to him and a shift in weight. Bokuto started to find back to his senses, slowly figuring out that it was Kuroo, who spent the night next to him, and Akaashi, who seemed to just have gotten home, who were arguing.

“I didn’t hurt him!”, Akaashi insisted which made Kuroo leave the bed in an instant.

“You didn’t?!” His voice growing louder. He stood straight in front of Akaashi, looking down on him. “So, who do you think was guilty of making Kou cry?”, he asked.

“I didn’t hurt him!”, Akaashi repeated in a growl.

Kuroo threw his arms in the air. An act of disbelieve and anger. He turned around to not physically attack Akaashi now, took two deep breaths before he faced him again.

Placing one hand on each of Akaashi’s shoulders he pushed him away, moving them until Akaashi had the doors of their wardrobe pressed against his back. Kuroo gave him no space to escape.

“For fuck’s sake, wake up!”, he shouted at his face. “Kou is DONE, he’s hurt – hurt by YOU!”

Akaashi’s eyes widened. The wish to fight Kuroo was still visible in his eyes, but he couldn’t stand up to the power of Kuroo’s grasp and the strength behind his voice. Bokuto got up from the bed slowly, trying to reassure Kuroo that it was okay, that he could stop. He doesn’t want to hurt Akaashi.

Kuroo ignored him.

“We all know that you’re not doing it deliberately but by now, no matter how overwhelmed you are by all that stuff that was bothering you lately, even you should have noticed that you are hurting Kou!” He shook Akaashi once.

“Are you that blind?! He was begging you on his knees to come back, he offered to help you lowering the burden you have to carry around and yet you run away from him making him think he’s the worst person on this world!”

Kuroo took another deep breath.

“Listen, I know you’re having a hard time and you don’t know how to handle all those things that want your attention at the same time, but Bo’s not a thing. He’s a human who loves you and he’s okay if it’s just a little bit that you can give him during this time – he would give back even more in return!”

Akaashi was still staring at Kuroo without moving an inch. “It is okay to depend on him, too, you now? You are a team, you are not alone!”

That was all Kuroo had to say. He let go of Akaashi’s shoulders, turned around to go back to the bed to grab his clothes that were scattered around that area.

“I’m going home now, if you need me give me a call!”, he announced in Bokuto’s direction before he left them alone.

 

 

An awkward silence followed. Bokuto was still standing in the middle of the room, staring at the carpet at his feet. Akaashi’s wide eyed gaze was fixated on Bokuto’s head in front of him.

They stood there for a few minutes until Bokuto could hear barely audible sniffling. He looked up and into Akaashi’s eyes. His face didn’t change from before, his eyes wide open, his features frozen. But there were tears running down his cheeks silently.

“Kei... ji...”

A louder sniff came from in front of him.

“I’m... a horrible human...”, Akaashi whispered during soft sobs, not blinking while he kept staring into the air, eyes directed at Bokuto.

“You’re not!!” Bokuto leapt forward in an attempt to hold Akaashi in his arms, but he blocked him.

“I AM!”, he shouted now, his tears coming in waves. “I wasn’t able to see what I did to you, I was about to destroy what is the most important to me! I started to destroy you!!” His legs gave up on him and Akaashi got down on the floor, hugging his knees close to his chest.

“I love you, Koutarou...!”, he whimpered. “The only thing I want for you is to be healthy and happy, so why... Why did I...”

It was not like seeing Akaashi in pain made his own pain disappear into nothingness like that. It was not like the past weeks didn’t destroy a part of his self-love, but he couldn’t bear to see his boyfriend like that.

“It is... okay??”, he tried, moving closer to Akaashi, carefully touching his shoulder with his hand. Akaashi didn’t flinch away, so he figured that much of physical contact was okay.

“We can work on it like we used to?”, Bokuto suggested carefully. “I’m here for you!”

Akaashi shifted in his position, moving closer to Bokuto’s chest, letting himself be embraced by his arms. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, Koutarou...”, he hiccupped into the material of his shirt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... I’m sorry... I’m sorry, I love you, Koutarou, I’m sorry...”

He kept repeating those words like a mantra while Bokuto hold him close to his heart.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“Koutarou-san, do you have some time later?” Akaashi’s head peaked up from behind his monitor, searching for his boyfriend in the kitchen.

He was preparing breakfast like he usually did in the mornings. Two slices of toast, something to eat it with (varies from day to day, depending on his moods), some fruits (mostly banana because they are easiest to eat) and a cup of milk (sometimes warm, sometimes cold) – Akaashi drinks his coffee black (sometimes Bokuto puts in milk for him because Bokuto loves milk and Akaashi should know about how wonderful milk is) and eats whatever Bokuto prepares for him.

“After work? Yeah! Need something?” He came back from the kitchen with both their breakfast on a tray, carried it to the table where he put it down and sat next to Akaashi.

“Can you take those books –“ He pointed with his head on the books that were piled up on the chair next to him. “– to the library after work? I don’t need them anymore.”

“Sure, no problem!!”, Bokuto replied, grinning widely before he started eating happily. “Are you making good progress?”, he asked then and Akaashi nodded.

“I am.”, he smiled.

After having had the argument a few days prior Akaashi and Bokuto tried finding a solution to overcome the unhappy situation in which they both were trapped for a while.

Bokuto made Akaashi understand that it was okay if he asked him to help – doing errands that were usually Akaashi’s job for example – and asked for at least one evening a week that belonged only to him (plus some sweet time whenever they felt like it).

Akaashi asked him to give him free time every here and then to work in silence (it was rare because usually Akaashi would use the time Bokuto was at work, but when he needed it Bokuto went to Kuroo to annoy him instead) or an occasional massage or motivational speech.

They both still needed some time to completely adjust to their life, but with each day they moved closer to their goal.

“I will take some time off once you’re back.”, Akaashi announced after a little break.

Bokuto jumped up in his seat. “OH MY GOD, YOU WILL??? What are we going to do??!”, he shouted in joy. “I read there was this new documentary out tonight as well – you think we can watch?? AAAaaah I think I’m gonna bring some cake as well!!”

Akaashi’s smile broadened as the continued watching Bokuto’s face becoming brighter than the sun and he broke out in small giggles after Bokuto hugged him while plastering his face in tiny, feathery kisses.

“I’m sooooo looking forward to today evening!!!” One more kiss one the cheek. “I missed holding you close to me.” Another one on his nose.

“I’m all yours tonight.”, Akaashi promised and they sealed it with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic after many years and about the third fic I've written in English. I've prepared this for the April Fool's artist swap thing.
> 
> I haven't had anyone beta-ing it. I hope there are not too many mistakes and you had fun while reading :3
> 
> [tumblr](http://takei-draws.tumblr.com/) & [twitter](https://twitter.com/TakeiShun)


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